Oct 29th, 1979
I went for a job interview today. Ugh. One of them seemed ok. Iggy & Dead Boys are coming up. I can’t wait to see them both.
Oct 30th, 1979
So I am never going to see the Blessed again. I called Billy to see if he would put me on the guest list for Saturday and he said he would try. What a bunch of crap. I will go and see the Dead Boys instead that night. It just amazes me how guys in bands can be. I didn’t know it was a crime to be a fan. I should take everything I have of the Blessed and seal it in a box. I still like Walter & Brad but Howie & Billy kind of rule the band. I don’t think Walter gets involved in their childish garbage. Walter should go team up with Johnny Thunders again. What a dream pair. I wonder if the Blessed will ever go anywhere. I should go and do the Richard Hell fan club instead. I knew when I had the chance to do it last time I should have, something inside me told me. I knew my friendship with the Blessed wouldn’t last. I saw all the things changing, especially that 1 weekend. Billy met that girl that night and Maryann and I had that huge fight. Well Billy is only 17 so maybe that is why he acts the way he does.
Oct 31st, 1979
I went to see the Dead Boys at TRAX. It was so great. Johnny Zero looked so good. I went instead of going to see Iggy. I saw none of the Blessed there. I am still not going to see them anymore.
Nov 1st, 1979
I went to see the Dead Boys in Philadelphia at the Hot Club. God, it was so gross and disgusting there. I was standing in the front but had to move to the back of the club it was so awful there. I went with JoVan. We slept over Natalie’s house so that was a lot of fun.
Nov 3rd. 1979
I decided not to go to the Blessed tonight. It was hard not to go see them but it was for the best. Instead I went to see the Dead Boys at Heat. That club really stinks. I think every club sucks now. The rest try but they just don’t measure up. I am so obsessed with the Dead Boys and Jimmy Zero now. Jimmy Zero hurt his hand so they had to done some songs without them which sucked. Rick Derringer went on stage for some of the songs and it was pretty funny. Kind of boring to see him up there. I saw Paul Zone there and he was really friendly and so f’d up. He put his arms around me and kissed me goodbye. The Fast have been touring all over with the Cars and the guy from the Cars is going to produce their album. I was really happy for Paul Zone because he deserves it. It was really a fun night but it will feel weird when I run into anyone from the Blessed again.
Nov 4th, 1979
I went to see the Dead Boys at Squat. It was an afternoon show and it was so good. Jimmy Zero still could not play because of his hand so he announced the band and then for the rest of the show he stood at the side of the stage. Anyway – the show was so funny because Jimmy kept yelling for himself and the whole band was making comments to each other. I was never at anything like it. I want to be a Dead Boy. You know that I’m just a Dead Boy. Oh Dead Boys, Hail True love.
Nov 5th, 1979
I spoke to Eileen today. She is going to try to get my Blessed films back for me from Billy because I know I will never get them back from him.
Nov 6th 1979
I really think that Jimmy Zero is my favorite now. When Johnny Ramone comes back from tour, I am sure he will be my favorite again. Arturo called today and he thinks the Ramones will be back from touring on Dec 10th.
Nov 9th, 1979
I went to CBGBs and saw the Student Teachers, Colors, and Crayola. I really loved the Colors, the lead singer is so nice and so cute. The Student Teachers were really good as always and nice. I saw Paul Zone there and he acted like he never saw me at Heat and started to tell me all of the same stuff for me again. I saw Clem Burke there and he didn’t even say hello. I guess he is too much of a star now. I had a really good time considering I was at CBGBs but I don’t think I could stomach Maxs. That awful crowd there now, although there were such a bunch of jerks at CBGBs.
Nov 10th, 1979
I went to CBGBs again to see Tigerbeat (what a fantastic band), Colors, and Student Teachers but I left before the Student Teachers came on. I saw Brad and spoke to him for awhile and it was good to see him. But then I saw Billy & Howie and either they did not see me or they ignored me but I left before I would come face to face with them. Its so strange to worry about coming face to face with them. What a change from before when I would have died to have just seen them.
Nov 13th, 1979
So much as changed since I have started to keep this diary. I found out that Joody and some other people were at Maxs and saw Billy, Howie, & Brad. So Joody was talking to Brad about me and Howie walks by and goes “Oh she hates us now.” Well at least he knows it. The truth is don’t hate the Blessed. I love the Blessed. I just hate Howie & Billy. I had a crazy dream about Walter Lure the other night. I wish dreams did come true. I do like Walter Lure & Jimmy Zero both.
Nov 14th, 1979
I went to see the Dead Boys, Cheap Perfume, and Hammer Damage at Maxs and it was great. We were so far back online but don’t ask me how, once we were in there, I was able to get right up front right under Jimmy Zero. He looked so good and every so often he would do these motions that were wild. Billy & Howie were there. I know Billy saw me because I saw him move his head to look but I pretended I didn’t see him. F him, I don’t need all of his ego garbage. But I saw this advertisement for their record that it is coming out of course I had to take it. I just could not resist.
Nov 15th, 1979
I went to see the Senders at Maxs. Oh what a night. Billy & Howie were there and I didn’t talk to the all night. It is just so dumb and I am so sick of playing games. Howie was giving me dirty looks and Billy would just give me an evil stare. F them. The Blessed are playing on Sunday and I might go although I don’t want to lower myself.
Nov 18th, 1979
Oh hail true love. I went to this benefit at Maxs and saw the Blessed, Rattlers, and some other bands play. I sort of made up with Billy. At least we are talking now. I almost cried when I saw the Blessed. They were so damn good. Anyway – I had this long talk with Walter Lure. We spoke about my haircut and how to bleach out hair and the Heartbreakers are going to be playing again at the end of December. God I can’t wait. I miss them so much. Walter was so funny and he kept telling us these really funny stories about Johnny Thunders. Walter’s fave Rolling Stones song is ‘Stray Cat Blues” and so is mine. I can’t believe it. I spoke to everyone in the Blessed except for Howie but I think he has a mental problem. Anyway – I am so happy that I went tonight. Things were so much better than I thought they would have. I hate myself for falling in love with the Blessed again.
Nov 20th 1979
I went to Maxs. It was Ivan’s birthday so he had his band play. Frank Zappa got on stage and announced them. He got his hair cut and looked good. So Billy & Walter went on stage and jammed for “Happy” and “Stray Cat Blues”. Then Walter, Brad, and Howie jammed for “Chinese Rocks”. It was good to hear Billy since “Stray Cat Blues” as I had been wanting him to do it for so long.
Nov 21st, 1979
Arturo came into today to print more t shirts for the tour. I saw Levi and the Rockets at Maxs and they were really good. I have been on a Rolling Stones kick lately and just keep listening to them. I love the songs “Til the next time we say goodbye”, “Memory Motel” and “Dead Flowers”. I would love to meet Keith and get to talk to him.
I have been feeling so blah about everyone. I don’t even care about Jimmy Zero or Johnny Ramone. I should probably not go to the Blessed any more.
Nov 24th, 1979
I went to CBGBs to see Shrapnel and the Rattlers. Ricky from Phili came in for the weekend and we had such a great time.
Nov 25th 1979
I went to see Wayne County at CBGB’s. Brad was there and I also saw Billy. We talked for pretty long and he was surprisingly nice. But he asked me if I sent the letter to Maryann yet. Cathy has such a big mouth. Then I left CBGBs and went back later on. I saw Howie and I had a really long talk with him. It was the first time I had talked to him in so long and we actually got along. The Blessed are going to try to open for the Ramones on New Years Eve at the Palladium. I hope they do, it would so great for them. So I feel on good terms with the Blessed again. The Blessed are supposed to play in Phili in a few weeks and I would really like to go.
XOXO JLP
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