More Wayne County

Sept 30th, 1979

Oh what a night. I went to see Wayne County at Max's. Billy has a 14 year old girlfriend with braces. I think that she things of Billy as some big Rock Star. To top it off, Mary Ann was talking to them both all night, and probably about me. So now me & Billy do not get along too well all because of Mary Ann. Well, Sue, the other Judy, and me plan on getting revenge on Mary Ann. And I will if it is the last thing I do. I found out that Billy and Brad will be playing at Ivan's birthday party at Max's on Oct 20th. Billy will be singing "Stray Cat Blues" which is one of my absolute favorites and they may also do "Dead Flowers".

XOXOJLP

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Too Much Drama

Sept 29th, 1979

I went to Max's and saw Wayne County and the Rattlers. I went up front for Wayne's 2nd set and she was so good. But overall, it was the most horrible night. All of the Blessed were there. Me & Mary Ann are in this big fight so she was a complete bitch. Billy came into Max's and then went over to me and spoke for a few minutes and then went over to Howie and I did not see him for the rest of the night. And he left with this real sleezy blonde who is a waitress there. He saw me and did not even say goodbye and I am thinking of honestly never going to another Blessed show. I don't even want to go and see Wayne County for the 2nd night but the drummer owes me some money and he put me on the guess list for tonight.

I really hope that Billy is not there. If he is I will not even talk to him. I know Mary Ann told Howie & Billy about our fight and maybe that is why Howie is being such a complete f'ing snob. I can not believe what a c_nt Mary Ann turned out to be.

Jo Van and Bobby Ebz went with us and they were so awful and gross going home. So completely f 'ed up on drugs I think. I also found out that Tommy Trask said he was glad I did not go to their shows anymore and was glad I did not stand up front. I wonder if it is true that he would say that since I was such a good fan. What an f'ing c_nt. This past week just seems like one slap in the face after the next.

XOXOJLP
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Blondie's Video Taping

Sept 27th, 1979

I won these tickets from WPIX to go & be on Top of the Pops where Blondie was being filmed for some of their videos. It was all so random. I was at my friend's house and we had on the radio and they announced they were giving away free tickets. I could not believe it so I called and won. When we got there, the line was so long to get in and I don't even think you needed tickets. I saw the Student Teachers there also.

The whole thing was so monotonous. As much as I love Blondie, I only stayed for half of it which was hours. They did each song at least 5 times and it took so long because the band was so f*ck'ed up and they were doing all kinds of other songs and really goofing off. I spoke to Nigel alot there and he was so sweet.

After we left we went to Max's. They had some crap they were saluting in NYC. Wayne County played but we didn't even stay long enough. I had heard that Billy had come but he didn't want to come upstairs. But then later on we were hanging out with some kid Charlie outside and Billy came by. Boy has he changed. All he cared about was finding something to get high on and then as soon as he found it, he took off. I feel as if I do not even know him anymore. I don't think I even want to go to anymore Blessed shows. Max's just got me so sick last night. It was so boring. I guess it is time to find something a bit more exciting to do.

I found out that MaryAnn was really f*cking me over so I wrote her a letter telling her off. I have a feeling she called Billy and told him. I can see the 2 of them becoming best friends because of their new common interests and I will probably be treated like such crap. Just let her say one thing to Billy about me or if she turns him against me in any way, I will f*ck her over with Howie so much.

XOXOJLP

The Rise & Fall...Fame

Sept 25, 1979

I went to Hurrah's because they were having this whole list of bands to salute NYC. What a shitty place to go. The 2 really big names cancelled. Debby Harry & Chris Stein were there. I spoke to Debby for alittle while. She has turned into such a snob. I guess that's what fame does to you but she was so stuck up. I just have looked at her a few times and I didn't even know it was her. Chris Stein looked really different too. Worse I think. I will never understand why she is with him. Debbie looked really good though. We went to Max's after but it was dead. Then we went to this diner in the Village that mostly gay people go to. Miki Zone was there. Maybe he's gay.

XOXOJLP
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An Unedited Page

For Nicole....

So truth be told, I do slight editing to my diary at times for 2 reasons. The first is I do not want to incriminate others for their past drug use and the other is probably complete embarrassment of how silly I actually sounded at times. But this was 30 years ago, the mind of an obsessed 21 year old. So I have decided not to edit going forward and to post a completely unedited day that I just skipped.

And by the way – the original title of diary was called Hail True Love (loved a shirt that Walter Lure used to wear with it written on it) but as my infatuation with the Blessed grew, I changed the name to “My journal: or How I fell in love with Howie Pyro: A day by day account.”

So it has been fun to reconnect with Billy & Howie originally on myspace & now on facebook and to see none of us ever really grow up :)

Sept 22nd, 1979

I did not go into NYC last night and it took so much willpower not to go. I know if I want to Max's I would see Billy but I honestly could not face him. I've been so depressed about him. He has changed to much and I am going to avoid seeing Billy now and I will not call or write him for as long as I can hold out. I can't say I will never call him again as I am only human. I just hope I have to self will in my not to call him. He just repulses me now the same way Howie did when I stopped liking him. I am going to be looking for a job tomorrow. So I will start getting my life in order for me. Tonight the Ramones are playing and so is Johnny Thunders and I doubt I will go to either.

Reedited Version - Change of Plans

Sept 23rd, 1979

Reedited to include the entire page and not the edited version.

I called up Billy for a change. I must be nuts or something. So I told him there was a chance I would be going to Max's so to go and I would give him the movie films if I was there. Well I was all ready to go to the Ramones and all of a sudden I just had to go to Max's instead. I saw Billy there. I saw The Heat and the 2 Timers. I offered Billy a ride home after but he said he was not going home. I have this horrible feeling that he left with some sleezy waitress. I am actually going insane over Billy. I feel he has turned my life upside down. Well I will try not to call him this week but obviously my word is not good. I know I won't be writing Billy anymore letters since he does not appreciate them. Over all, the night was kind of borning. Not too much going on. I should have gone to the Ramones. It was have been such a better night.

A Wasted Night

Sept 20th, 1979

I went into NYC with Mary Ann. She wanted to see Howie but he was not working. So we called Billy so I could try to get my movies back. He got my letter. I am kind of depressed about the whole situation. We met up with Jeff Miller and I think he is selling Billy drugs. I can't believe this is what is going to become of Billy. I have this feeling that the next Blessed show is really going to suck. I don't know if I even like them anymore. I am just so repulsed by this new drug habit. After we went over the Eileen's. She quit being the Blessed Manager and I don't blame her. Hopefully Billy will straighten himself out.

XOXOJLP
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